If you run into the guy pictured here you might want to run screaming in the other direction. Okay, maybe politely avoid eye contact and wander off would be more appropriate.

If perchance you do get involved in a conversation with him here are the main topics to avoid:

• Don’t bash Flash/Flex. This is a Flex conference so you’re probably not inclined to do so anyway but depending on his mood he may verbally eviscerate you for blasphemy against Adobe.
• You should avoid bashing Microsoft as well but not for the reason above. If you do you’ll only encourage him to get on board that bandwagon and it’s hard to get him to shut up when he does.
• His college background is Philosophy and History. I’ve talked to the guy and he doesn’t know his Nietzsche from his Descartes but stay off the topic of epistemology. There are two good reasons for avoiding the epistemology topic. First, you’ll be involved in a conversation that can can serve no useful purpose because really, how useful can it be to talk about justified true belief? Secondly, someone always falls into the trap of linking epistemology with The Matrix. When that happens you’ll definitely get him off the epistemology topic but at the expense of listening to him defend the brilliance of the Wachowski brothers and how Revolutions was completely misinterpreted. This would be a good time to start drinking to excess.
• As for history topics: don’t talk about anything that has ever happened in the past. In particular try to avoid the Hellenistic period of ancient Greece, The Renaissance, The Enlightenment, Ancient Egypt, Roman Empire under Augustus, Fall of Constantinople, Colonial America, Revolutionary America, American Civil War, etc.
• He very nearly finished a degree in Mathematics and Astronomy so guess what, stay away from those topics as well.
• If you really love to talk about quantum mechanics then you might be able to tolerate a conversation with him for a few minutes. But be careful not to bring up Special Relativity. He used to teach it to high school students. You don’t want to get that lecture.
• As for the topic of space travel: don’t go there either. He worked at the Space Academy in Huntsville, AL and at Kennedy Space Center. You don’t want to get him yacking about his experiences there and by all means don’t bring up Apollo 13 and/or Jim Lovell.
• Lastly, don’t bring up anything to do with Science Fiction. Most importantly don’t talk about Battlestar Galactica, Star Wars, FireFly, X-Files, etc. And for the love of god’s don’t bring up The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. He has practically memorized those books.

He also has this amazingly annoying habit of responding to people with lines from movies. Like you’ll say, “Stop quoting movies and answer questions like a human.” And he’ll say, “I’m sorry. I can’t do that Dave.” While using his HAL voice. Dear god I hate it when he does that. I’m thinking about not even going to this conference just because I know I’ll end up in a conversation with him.

You’re best bet is to just talk about Flex and Actionscript. At least then all you’ll have to endure is his endless questions. At least it’s better than his endless blabbering.